 The Dancing Duck |
| A circus owner walked into a shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he |
| Lucky Frog |
| A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. |
| Young Polar Bear |
| A young polar bear came into his den and asked his mother, "Mom am I a real polar bear?" "Of course you are." His mother replied. The young polar bear asked his father. "Dad, am I a real polar bear?" "Yes, |
| Do You Have Any Grapes? |
| This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk a |
| Looking Around |
| A blind man walks in to a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash. As usual the store manager behind the customer service counter looks up, notices the customer is blind, and not wanting to sta |
| Kangaroo |
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence.
He was out |
| Panda Bear |
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to g |
| Talented Dog |
| A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal |
| Beware Of The Dog |
A vacationer noticed a sign that warned "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!", posted on the glass door of a little country store.
Inside the store, a harmless-looking old hound dog was asleep on the floor by the |
| Get So Pissed |
| There was this tiger who woke up one morning really feeling his oats. He felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE GREATEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"
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| A Dead Dog |
Mom and Dad tried to console their young son. "You know, Jeffrey, it's not your fault the dog died".
Little Jeffrey would have none of it.
|
| Two fools are about to go flying |
Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.
After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.
Laying next |
| A guide to walking tigers |
| Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for |
| The plumber has arrived |
A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o'clock. Ten o'clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, one o'clock; no plumber.
She concluded he wasn't coming, and went out to do some errands. While sh |
| There was just a dog fight |
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."
"What are you talkin' about?!" the |
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